Power Sex Beauty Intro Blog

PowerSexBeauty is a lifestyle and health blog dedicated to women who want to empower themselves through optimization of health, invigorate their sexual energy, and live beautifully from the inside and out.

Powerful women are sexy. When a woman knows who she is and what she wants, she commands a room while still wearing stilettos and a baby on her hip. Even if you’re single, don’t want kids, or have 5 children if you’re confident about your life, who you are, and what you want – you are powerful. The book Leaning In written by Sheryl Sandberg in 2013, is a beautiful illustration of a powerful and successful female corporate executive who also was a wife and mother. It was widely criticized for touting that women can do “it all”, putting unrealistic expectations on women to be perfect in all aspects of life – work, home, bedroom. I don’t really think that was her point of her book. I read it twice. I read it as ‘don’t be a princess and expect to sit pretty, not speak up, and get what you want’. Yes, she has money and had help at home because SHE’S A BOSS. Let’s celebrate her success and the message she was sending to aspiring female entrepreneurs and executives as a positive one.

In reality, there are days we can do it all – and it feels damn good. Other days we want to crawl into a ball on the couch and cry. It’s real to feel emotion and the spectrum of these emotions makes us human. In the book, “Becoming” by Michelle Obama, she discusses the spectrum of emotion she privately experienced being in the political spotlight. Her marriage wasn’t always perfect, but it needed to look that way. Her kids had tantrums and mood swings as they grew up, but they were hidden behind closed doors. We all think we need to LOOK perfect if we are to be accepted, respected, and admired. I say, power is in the realness of life.

I started the concept for this blog months following the separation from my husband. It was a raw time of my life that made me re-evaluate who I was and what I wanted from my life. Being a new single mom to a toddler at age 35 in the beginnings of a pandemic was a deeply pivotal moment in my life. How did I get here? I asked myself hundreds of times. I counted my blessings, my son was too young to understand, my ex is and was an amazing co-parent, my career was blossoming, and my friends were supportive. But it wasn’t what I had envisioned my life to be. I mourned the loss of the future family unit I dreamt about. I cried about sharing my son on holidays and compared myself to my friends who were on their second and third children. I felt like a failure. Big time.

I dove into the self-help book aisle, got two therapists, fell in-love with meditation, and did a deep dive into ME. I know it sounds cliché but I wanted to hack that shit. How quickly can I get through this hard part?

Meanwhile, at work, I needed to hold it together for my patients. So many who were struggling with their own loss of marriage / career / sense of self, kids at home during pandemic with no activities or social outlet, emotional eating / depression / anxiety. What I learned during that time was I needed to follow my own advice. I advocated for 5 minutes per day of meditation. Even if you had to go sit in your parked car to do it. I suggested books like Super Attractor by Gabrielle Bernstein, Attached by Levine and Heller, and Letting Go by Dr. David Hawkins. I advocated for exercise, high omega 3 fats in food, and high-quality nutritional supplements. Also, I prescribed more anti-depressant medications than I had the prior 4 years of practice combined. People were hurting.

When I changed my hyphenated name back to my maidan name, the questions from patients and colleagues started “how are YOU doing?”. They cared, genuinely, and for those who asked, I shared that I was also adapting, changing, and evolving in a way I had never expected. Divorce is hard. People understood. Then, something unexpected happened in those moments. My patients became my healers. Our human connection of shared experience or a nod of understanding of how difficult it is to get your 2-year-old to wear shoes was everything to me. I became a better doctor. My practice exploded. My heart started to feel like it was being put back together, by me and the community I had surrounded myself with. I felt like I was more powerful than I ever had been before. Creative energy flowed. Sexual energy, something that I had previously not given much thought to, was also renewed.

I realized how many of my patients saw loss of libido as just part of the normal evolution of their own lives. Both men and women reported significant dissatisfaction in their relationships, usually associated with fatigue, depression, anxiety, or life stress. I found the science around sex, libido, anorgasmia (difficulty reaching orgasm) was fascinating and my desire to support both sexes of patients in reinvigorating their sex lives with their current partner, could also work as an anti-depressant, sleep aide, and reduce fatigue in addition to supporting cardiovascular function. Why wasn’t sex being prescribed more often? Well… humans and sex are complex.

Again, I dove into the books, medical peer-reviewed literature, and I became infatuated with the area of sexual function and dysfunction beyond Viagra and hormone replacement therapy, albeit these therapies can be helpful to support the whole-body system. I began to study the neuroscience of libido and how anxiety, depression, and anhedonia discussed by Dr. Nan Wise in her book Why Good Sex Matters is just a depleted pleasure-seeking system. I trained in sexual health procedures allowing for use of platelet-rich-plasma to be used to rejuvenate male and female genital tissues, improving erectile function in men and sexual satisfaction in women.

Since I practice a form of integrative medicine called Functional Medicine, I am already deeply involved in looking at how my patients can not only manage their health but truly optimize their function. You could say this is a form of regenerative or even anti-aging medicine. I prefer the term, health optimization to anti-aging but they fall in the same genre. Functional Medicine emphasizes the importance of the mental, emotional, spiritual aspect of ourselves as critical to health in addition to core clinical imbalances that can deviate us from living our best lives.

When we feed our cells healthy, nutritious food, exercise regularly, get outside, sleep deeply, and meditate – things start to really change for the better on a cellular level. However, let’s be real here. Most of us don’t do all of these things even 75% of the time. I routinely finish patient charts late into the evening after I put my son to bed, wake up too late to do my peloton workout, and will sometimes even have a frozen Trader Joe’s meal for lunch. Gasp! That’s life. But I am trying, and I don’t beat myself up for it when I’m not perfect. The goal is to try and beautify my brain, digestive system, and hormones so I can live my best life.

Beauty is usually thought of as an external descriptor of someone. And it absolutely can be. But it is also about how we live our lives. Kindness, compassion, and healthy cells all contribute to one’s internal and external “beauty”. Admittedly, I love the external side of beauty just as much as I advocate for the internal optimization. I have a dozen skincare products on my bathroom counter, I wear make-up most days of the week, and I love love love long lashes. I wear a strip lash most days because I find it looks best on me and saves me money and time from getting them done. I also meditate and journal which makes me feel beautiful in other ways.

PowerSexBeauty is about women who want it all. But it’s also about being real in who you are and what you want. I am proud to be a Functional Medicine doctor leading a busy practice and team of doctors and nutritionists. I am also a mom of an amazing autistic toddler who I love more than life. I am a woman that believes sex can be empowering and supporting my patients to have fulfilling sex lives with their chosen partner is part of the optimization of health. I am an advocate of beauty from the inside-out and believe that we are all capable of love. I am also a fan of Ardell lashes #105 and pale pink lip color (currently covered with a mask) while diving into a complex lab report with my patients.

I believe in supporting women near and far with real actionable approaches to their health, sexuality, and truest sense of self. I love to learn, research, and write. Let’s connect. Follow my account @PowerSexBeauty .

With love,

Dr. Michelle Leary, ND, IMFCP Functional Medicine Physician Director of Functional Medicine Vida Integrated Health

Writer: Michelle Leary
Writer: Michelle Leary
December 9, 2021

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